In this world, others know you by the relationship that you share with them. For example, your son/daughter introduces you to others as their mother/father. Similarly, at your workplace, you are introduced as an employee. These introductions reflect what people view you as.
Have you ever introduced you to your inner self? How would you define the role that you share with you? Well, do not bother if you cannot find an answer. It is perhaps because you are too wrapped up in other roles.
Why should you find your inner self?
Our mind works better when it has a goal to achieve. Well, in simple words, the knowledge of the inner self will make you happy.
It certainly does not mean that right now you are not happy. Whenever you achieve something in life-professional or domestic, you are happy. People praise you for your achievements. You are applauded, and that makes you happy. However, this type of happiness entails expectations. You are expected to either replicate your achievement or do better in the future.
The bottom line: You are happy because you did something for others. Your happiness is dependent upon the acceptance of others. You are always looking for ways to make others happy and to be accepted so that you can be happy in turn.
Sadly, in all this noise, the most important person is absent. That person is YOU.
So, where is this ‘you’?
How To Find Your Inner Self
By finding an answer for the question above, you would learn to be emotionally independent. You will experience joy by doing something for yourself. This happiness does not need any applause, praise, or acceptance from others nor does this happiness entail expectations. It is just there no matter what.
Step 1: Focus on yourself
Our lives are so entwined and diversified that it is hard to focus on ourselves. You are always busy in concentrating on different roles. You are working towards being the best mother/father, brother/sister, lover, or an employee.
Now, you should shift your concentration towards yourself.
Calm yourself with a few deep breaths. Think about your interests, hobbies, dreams and everything that is related just to you. Do not restrict your mind. Let it go free and bring to you what you like most.
Step 2: Write down about yourself
Once you have the answers to your question. Write them down. The list that you get as a result is YOU. This list defines you just as you are.
The journey of searching for inner self is a never-ending process. If you have found answers to a particular question, then you should introduce new questions in your search like, how would I like to see myself or which activity/activities give me immense pleasure.
Whatever your questions are, always make sure that they are directly related to you only.
Finding your inner self is not a stressful process. Hence, do not force yourself to bring you answers. Some people may get their answers at the first session while others may have to conduct several sessions before getting an answer.
The more you push yourself to get the desirable results in the shortest possible time, the more you will defeat the purpose of the sessions. You have to remember that the discovery of the inner self is a very personal journey, which each person covers in his own time and pace.
If you ever find yourself getting anxious or impatient during the session, take a break. Go for a walk and spend time quietly watching the world go about its business. When you find the anxiety and restlessness disappearing, you can come back and resume the sessions.
After discovering your inner self, you may find a completely different personality. For instance, you may be working as a construction worker but your inner self finds happiness in painting. There is a conflict between your inner self and your role.
Do not think that wasting time, or that it has landed you in a troubled state. Remember, this conflict proves that you have lived your life through your roles only. You have not yet lived for yourself.
Of course, the answer does not advise you to let go of your role as a construction worker and pursue only what you like yourself. You must be realistic about how and when to pursue life goals and dreams.
At this point of the search, you have to make a choice. Ask yourself; can I quit my role/roles and pursue my likes and dreams? Your answer to this question will decide your next step of the search.
No, I cannot let go of my responsibilities
In order to resolve the conflict, you need to harmonize your roles with yourself. By harmonizing in the current scenario, you will be able to make plans for the future. These plans will include ways through which you will indulge in activities that give you happiness and peace.
Yes, I can quit my role/roles
If you believe that you can quit your situation, and follow your gut, you should go ahead. However, you need to contemplate first.
For instance, if you are the sole breadwinner in your family, you find a conflict between your profession and inner self. You decide to quit. Now, you will have to consider how your family is going to be affected by your decision. With a pen and paper, note down the effects.
Remember, you should only go ahead with your decision if you are free of guilt. Your inner self cannot reach its goal that is, happiness when it is burdened with guilt. Good luck and I hope this opens yours eyes just a little more about what you may want on the inside.